B5 always had an air of truth to it that other shows severely lacked. It’s a shame that people only see it as sci-fi, with some hammy acting, wobbly sets and bad CGI. If only more people took the chance and instead of looking at the screen, looked at the message contained within it.
This is where I sit each morning at about 7:30 in order to think, meditate and relax before my day starts. Beautiful :)
Sneaky self-portrait taken in the toilets of Costa Coffee. Felt like documenting I was wearing my frilly hotpants underwear type thing :)
I don’t know what I have ever done to deserve the kindness and generosity of spirit that my friends, and even people on Tumblr, have shown me recently, but I am truly humbled by it. I am eternally grateful to everyone for showing me the beautiful side of humanity, and making me feel connected to peace and love.
Words can never be enough to truly express the thanks for that blessing.
So, real life friends, those random strangers who have spoken to me recently, and all of you on Tumblr, I don’t understand why I am worthy of it, but from the bottom of my heart, I thank you :)
today i feel like i am a really bad person
This is something that happens in all our lives, and often feels daunting and scary. It doesn’t have to be. Over the past month a lot in my life has changed, and I’ve begun to take steps towards living the dreams I have, rather than idly sitting by and just thinking about them.
I don’t know where I am going to end up, as there are many places and things I would like to do and be. I’m going to try for as many as I can, slowly, but surely. I have no rush. I had thought the end of my relationship would have been the end of me, but instead, somehow it’s become a huge force for good for both myself and Lucy.
We are free to do as we want, and still remain the best of friends. There is no blessing greater than that. Some things have their natural end point, and can end somewhat gracefully with the minimum of pain. For this I am thankful, and don’t know what I did to deserve it.
One of the changes I am making is my approach to my art, and my approach to this Tumblr account. I don’t know what I want to do with it, I don’t know what I am to become, or what my work and this blog will become, but they will be me. That’s all I can ask for.
I see the risk in changing my output slightly, and I see the dangers of losing an audience when you don’t post things that are basically the same, but slightly different, to the last post. We live in a fast-paced world online, and you have to do things quick and fast to maintain an audience. I don’t like this idea, as it feels artificial. I do make my work for you, the audience, but ultimately I make it for me. This is my space on the internet, where I choose to show and say things I feel. If I get caught up in chasing reblogs, likes and followers then where is the honesty in what I do? The internet is sadly a popularity contest, and one that I don’t want to participate in. I am here to share and connect, not compete with others.
I want to share my journey through life, and my practice, and I’m starting this week. I realise that some of you will lose interest, and that’s fine, I wish you the best on your journey through life. Hell, I may lose all my followers. Maybe this blog won’t look any different, or maybe it will drastically change… I just don’t know. But that’s part of the excitement.
I would hope those of you who have stuck with me so far will remain, but if not, I understand.
This post is probably a big fuss over nothing, but sometimes we have to say what’s on our mind, just so that it’s out there.
Thank you if you read this far :)
Ever since I started meditating again and confronting my demons as they pop up, my life has been so much calmer :)
Me and my friend were messing about at her house with my camera and her clothes, and she took this weird shot of me in a white crotchless bodystocking… I kinda like it, even though I look a bit silly. Censored it, well… because I felt like it :D
thMNSTR does not equal plural
Cryptic, but obvious if you think about it.
It’s the reason I’ve not been posting as much recently, and why my work might take a slightly darker moodier turn in the near future. I’m excited for the future, I’m being positive, there are things I want to do and be, but still… it hurts under the surface. I had 4 good years, but now it’s time for something else and hopefully in the future, someone else :)
Just a quick note to thank all those who either commented, reblogged with a message or sent me a private message yesterday. Thank you all for your kind words and your support, I was slightly overwhelmed by your compassion. It means the world to me, and it’s your good wishes that give me the faith and the confidence to continue on my path.
Thank you all so much, I hope I do you all proud :)